His argument that you have to pay market rate regardless of the equity equation is false. If a transaction is a net loss for the company, you shouldn't do it.
If your situation is so desperate that you feel forced to hire someone (or take more funding) at what seems an excessively high price, then what's really going on is that you're overvaluing the company. If your situation is desperate, your value is low.
"How much of an additional margin should the company need as the "activation energy" for the deal? Since this is in effect the company's profit on a hire, the market will determine that: if you're a hot opportunity, you can charge more."
If your situation is so desperate that you feel forced to hire someone (or take more funding) at what seems an excessively high price, then what's really going on is that you're overvaluing the company. If your situation is desperate, your value is low.