If you think this is a risk, have a plan for it, and not just for her. For you as well. The knock on effects of trying to do everything for the newborn, manage your partner’s symptoms and help in their treatment, and try to sleep while furiously doing laundry, cooking, scrubbing bottles, etc… you need support. You need people staying with you 24/7, people that aren’t on some vacation with a couple photo ops with the new baby.

I’m in a week between family staying with me right now and I had to pull from savings to get a night nanny every other night to even have a chance for sleep.

Make a plan for help, don’t be afraid to cash in on help you’ve given your friends and family, and get treatment early.

edit: I’m a US Marine. I’m not scared of sleep deprivation, hard work, or suffering. How single moms do this without PPD, let alone with, while holding a job is something I can’t fathom. I thought I was tough. Incorrect.

That's really kind advice - I appreciate it. Luckily the folks pretty close-by, but you spelling all of that out really changes my perspective how hard it'll be.

We got a young puppy a year back now which seemed like good practice - with the lack of sleep, constant attention, constant pooping/peeing. But yea, a baby's absolutely going to be another level's worth of difficult.

Personal experience, I don't know if it's backed by studies. We think that there are a bunch of factors you can control that help reduce the risk, you probably know them:

* sleep deprivation: take turns taking care of the baby and let the mom sleep whenever she can, naps during the day, when the baby is napping, when the baby is with you, etc; getting as much sleep is <<super important>> for the mom

* moral support: no matter how much things suck, you're in this together; talk to the mom and ideally, make fun of the literally shitty situation :-)

* as mentioned by others, get more help if you can; no shame in doing it, you said you were a military man, wouldn't you want to greatly outnumber "the enemy" (the baby)? :-p

* take the longest leave possible, don't save PTO; you're probably not going anywhere interesting this year, use that time to offer support during this super stressful period.

FYI, statistically the pressure goes down at about 3 months old and again at 6 months old.

I thought a puppy was similar too, but we get a puppy at like 8 weeks old and someone else did the early care. The early care, when you have to feed constantly and you can’t even put them down in a bouncer to sleep… it’s taxing.

But worth it. I was just reading my 2 year old a book before bed and I can confirm that it gets better. They are a lot of fun.

My wife an I are currently expecting baby #5. She had a only mild amount of PPD with 2. We foresee no need of this drug with this one nor any of our future babies.

Ok?