If it makes you feel any better: I get my hair cut at a place here in Silicon Valley that's full of Chinese tiger moms (incl. the staff). When I was sitting in the chair a few weeks ago, a tiger mom came in the shop with a book of 8x10 photos. She went from Chinese woman to Chinese woman, holding the book open and announcing, "This is my son. Here he is [pointing at the photos, and slowly turning the pages] at his graduation last week. He graduated from Berkeley in electrical engineering." Then, pausing for effect, turning her head and nodding slowly and meaningfully, added, "...with honors."

She would then move down the line to the next woman and repeat the whole thing verbatim, down to the pause, slow meaningful nod, and "...with honors."

Most women she spoke to tried to look unimpressed, which I thought was a bit rude. Some even sniffed and turned away. It was amazing.

I was the lone white guy in a room full of Chinese women (and some kids) and apparently the only one who was happy for her and willing to look at her pictures. No luck. When she got to me, she sniffed at me and skipped past me to the next Chinese woman.

I wasn't sure whether that was because my opinion was irrelevant to her sense of social status or, more simply, that she knew the Chinese women but didn't know me.

I asked my hair stylist who, like most of the staff, has been a friend of mine for years. She told me that she had seen the woman a couple of times but that she didn't think anybody in the shop knew her by name. I (the only one in the room with a EE background and apparently the only one happy for her) was just not somebody whose opinion mattered to her.

So it seems that your Berkeley EECS is plenty good enough to ruffle the feathers of other Chinese moms and to impress me--if that helps any. ;-)

Haha, thanks for sharing. I do think it's kind of odd that that woman would do something like that. You don't generally approach random people and boast about the accomplishments of your children. In my mom's case, she socializes at church and a line dancing group, so no doubt they're always talking about their kids.

I do think you've picked up on something with the whole social status angle, but I can't say I have a good understanding of it. Chinese moms are deeply invested in their children's education, and no doubt they judge themselves (and each other) by how much their children have achieved.

The sad thing is that some of those women may actually have been unimpressed by a Berkeley grad. You no doubt are aware of the tutoring centers that dot the Valley, catering to Asian students and their demanding parental units. Besides AP and SAT prep, some of these places also offer "college counseling" that runs many thousands of dollars over several years.

My sister, who is quite a bit younger than me, is on the verge of applying to college. Last time I was at home, my parents had collected a pile of brochures from these tutoring places, which advertise successful applications to Stanford, UofC, UPenn, and the Ivy League. The UCs are an afterthought. It's all about the exclusive brand names, if you will.

I'm just thankful I never had to deal with any of this madness.