Hmm does instant SEPA differ in some way from the regular kind? I just checked and my bank still lists 0.4-1.1€ per external transfer. It's the national bank so I presume they're not likely to be in breach of EU regulations.

Mine did too a year ago or so still (N26). Now they are free due to it being mandatory in EU.

Only mandatory in Eurozone countries, sadly. It won't be until 2027 (July at the latest?) where it will be mandatory for all EU countries.