I live in the South Indian state of Kerala. Here 'arranged marriage' means parents and relatives get a chance to background-check the future partner before you do. So for a girl, this means your parents check on the boy's character , his earning potential , the way his parents made money and other related aspects. If parents are happy, a meeting is arranged.If the girl and boy likes to go forward with a relationship, they can take time to know each other.If everything goes well, proceed to marriage.
In short, its like dating with the fittest. All marriages in my family happened this way, and we dont have even a single case of divorce in my family.
poda pulle nayinte mone. The sick orthodox views of the people of Kerala is debilitating to the modern man. One is expected to stay celibate till the age pf marriage which tends to be around age 25. Suppression of hormonal urges has a crippling effect on the mind. College life in Kerala is the worst all over India. Apart from the impossibility to have sex thanks to the conservative views of the mallu girls, there's also a phenomenon called ragging which makes life even worse. I for one hate Kerala and call it the Devil's own country.To MGreen, you need some introspection; the culuture of Kerala is one that I despise beyond all. patti chetteh kazhidhe thendi
for all those who don't speak Malayalam (the language of Kerala)
translation => "get lost you son of a bitch"
"patti chetteh kazhidhe thendi"
translation => Dog, scum, donkey, beggar!
fwiw, I think such language is inappropriate on a public forum , particularly HN, but to flag or delete something one should know what is being said.
I find the device of slipping into a different language (here Malayalam)from the commonly understood one (English) to send a "private message" (in this case, abuse unfortunately) interesting, though (strictly imo) that is a violation of the commonly understood (unspoken) rules of discourse.
I was just trying to explain how 'arranged marriages' work in my family and that the success rate of the system is pretty good in my experience.
Sex at college is a different aspect. Its true that the social setup doesn't encourage sex while you are at college. But i think the reason is not just an 'orthodox view' of Keralaites. Males mostly stay with parents until they finish college(&& get a job) and are fully dependent on parents financially.'Work while you study' is almost non-existant here. Perhaps girls just dont want to take the risk of hanging out with someone who doesn't have any proven earning potential(yet). At the end of the day, getting a girl depends on how you approach the girl !
Sorry to hear that you had bad experiences with 'ragging' at college. I never had any such issues. Infact, my seniors were very helpful throughout my college life.
I see that you created an account just to make that comment with personal insults against me. Try sticking on to the guidelines and keep HN a nice place: http://ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
I know a few guys who have a lot of sex in college - all of them are already making more money than one usually makes working for one of those so-called tech giants (HCL, Wipro, blah).
Mallu girls have sex. Just not with you. That's a testament to their good taste.
Helpful hint: presenting an attitude of "I hate you but want to sleep with you cause I'm so horny" is not a winning strategy. I've had better success with Kerala girls than you (and I'm not Indian), so I'm pretty sure your problem is attitude.
(Maybe I'm taking the comment a little personally. My gf is from Kochi, cut me some slack. )
In short, its like dating with the fittest. All marriages in my family happened this way, and we dont have even a single case of divorce in my family.